I know u guys heard about all that massage and seafood. Heres a few other things u can/should buy in batam!
1) magnum ice cream
Come on. Why is magnum so ex in sg? Is ice cream taxed too? Cos magnum cost $1.30 sgd here. So i ate all the flavors… 8 in total.. Check out red velvet! #loves
2) vitamin pills
I know they look like condom packs. But these r legit cheap vitamin pills. (1500 rp? Thats like 10 cents sgd or sth). And since vitamin pills are expensive in sg n rupee r shit currency to keep, i spent the whole load of left over bucks n shilling on vitamin n yet another magnum ice cream.
3) viagra pills
The magic name u are looking for, is cialis. Read here for story on buying cialis.
Because its legal drug in sg but u can’t get them unless u get the man to pull off his pants n tell the doc how impotent he is. In batam, u can get it over the cou ter. The price. Is 20sgd each pill. 💊
4) some coffee
For some reason some coffee are real cheap. I got these for 9300rupee. Thats about a buck sgd. And its damn awesomes.
Don’t say no to cheese. A butter size block of cheese cost me. A dollar. Mom was mad i only bought one. She thinks i travel to buy grocery. Guess i can’t deny my tendency to over shop on grocery… Came home with 7kg of cheese from europe.. But anyway. Get the cheese. Its cheap.
My colleague was excited that i was going to batam. Pull me to a corner and said conspiringly.
“U know, in batam you can buy those .. For man… Viagra! Over the counter…. U don’t need to see doctor… And its the real legal drug in singapore”
“I heard my friend ate it and it put his 16 year old self to shame.”
“I want to try leh! Help me get. I want to feel like dragon!”
Thats how i found myself at the apoteik counter.
“I want pill. U know pill. For man! Man! ”
I point to a man beside me and then flexed my non existance arm to express the meaning of poweress.
“Pill. U know… Viagra….. ” desperately trying to convey.
“Tonkat ali! I want tonkat ali!!! Come on u have it right? Right?” i raised my voice a lil in desperation / exasperation.
The tudong clad female pharmacist gushed, looking distressed. Her unibrows squashed together like a long centipede, shook her head violently as if a beetle found its way onto her scarf. (nth racist here. I think she was just too shy)
I was adamant. God damnit i know she has it. So i took a long walk and came back a few hours later.
From afar, before i entered the shop, the same girl caught sight of me, bolted out of her seat at the counter and disappeared into the pharmacy closet room and dragged her colleague out, inconspiously pointing at me. THEN THEY BOTH LAUGHED!
Dear god. I had to give up on this humiliating shop…
So i hopped over to a large pharmacy hoping there will be more people to assist and kinda well… diffuse the attention.
Upon entry, 4 handsome young pharmacist greeted with smiles…… Thanks.
Inconspiously slipped a piece of paper with the drug name over the counter.
“Cialis…” he mummured and then turned to handsome #2 and said “cailis…” handsome 2 turned around to the other 2 hamdsome pharmacists hanging around behind him “cialis!” and they all took glances at me and mummured “cialis” with that all knowing look… i felt violated. Damn i still go to the female washroom u know..
Totaly publically humiliated.
Anyway. I got the pills. And a lot of mentos. And some gums. Side note: though their ability of recognizing drugs was decent, their cashier skill n speed sure needs brushing up. So i got another magnum ice cream while waiting awkwardly too.
If my colleague gets his wife pregnant, he better award me a huge ang pao. #ideserveit
we stood at the dripping ice stand haggling a price for dinner. They slap pieces of sting ray in the ice tray, bone and blood and dripping melted ice. Upselling skills better than an insurance agent. (i wish i’d taken a pic of the haggling. You’ve never been to south east asia if u never haggled. We can do it till the cows come home.)
It was the last night of the trip. We were down to less than 15 sgd in our wallets and still a dinner to settle.
Of course the last dinner must be awesome. After the travel buddy’s adamant “we should eat batam local food” for 3 days which includes 3 days of diarrhea on my part, he finally gave up on team local and dragged me to the seafood stand.
65! A wet weathered hand reached out to wave/grab at us. 65!
I flinched and stared at the travel buddy. Yea im a chicken at sayin no sometimes but he is worse. The wet hand snaked up a notch. 55 ok abang? 55!
We pulled out a calculator afraid they will charge 550 instead of 55. The lady boss charged up and pushed poor wet weathered hand aside and. Typed 45000 in the calculator.
About $4.50 for a slab of stingray. Hell yeah… the travel buddy went crazy. “Oh. Plus a kang kong. How about an egg too. Egg u know egg. Teluar…”. (the fish had caught the bait)…..
Had to drag him away from the menu and told him.. U know. I think we don’t have enought money for dinner. He turned pale… “Its ok i can slap some sgd in their face” i raised an eyebrow.
At least judgement time is after we dined we had our fill before death. we walked to the payment counter. The chinese taokay fingers fly across the calculator typing furiously referring to a piece of reciept. And a second piece of reciept. Omg the suspence is killing me.. 131.
Fuck. short of 1000.
Tua pei kong ah… I don’t regret few the few thousand dollars donations i did at your temple yhis afternoon. So.. plssss help me!!!
The taokway sat waiting twiddling his pen…
I reached into my packet… 100, 500, 1000! Waaaaa thank you tua pei kong ah no need to wash dishes or sell backside.
How desperate r u to write a post in your blog (yea writers block lately) asked my favourite boy shaggy.
Uhm. I feel fine… Said i.
So we went to jb that random weekend just because he wanted to eat herbal chicken.
And sure enough we just have to have a blog post.( i can’t just blog about food can i)
Damn weasel of the blue cab taxi driver scammed me freaking moneyyyyyy!
Thats basically what i shouted when i walked into the badminton racquet shop where i ordered my new weapon.
Oh yea if i had my new weapon i would have unapologeticallly inflicted upon him a gushing twark on the weasel mousy brainless pothead.
Can u believe it. I paid 8 sgd to get from ksl to sri taman tembrau. (the food place nearby; approx 10 min walk away)
Oh weasel thought i didnt know the way. wanted to take a long route. We instructed him to turn in the right direction. N he say. Flooding.
Then he turned an elaborated long route looping 2x, all the while humming to some hindi song and acting like a complete dong, before i got so pissed and threw 25 rm in his weasel face. Cursed his car die in the flood n stormed out into the rain
God damn it.
Arriving at the shop drenched, shaggy trailing behind me, the nice racquet shop aunties raged with me for 10 minutes. “These scums throw our malaysia people face! Hope his tyres burst”. “What 25rm is too much. Y didnt u take down his face n license should complain him. These cheaters should not drive.”
And the rage continued as i rage another taxi driver on how i was cheated n he went into his story about how he wouldnt cheat his passengers n got big tips from being honest. (ah i promised to reccommend him but well. I lost his name card.)
Felt much better after raging because shaggy bought me a magnum ice cream #easilysatisfied.
Anyways Tourist tip: dont take a blue taxi. Them all weasels. Grrrrs
Oh yah. Herbal chicken was good.
In shaggy’s words. Its jizz worthy lol.
I think its only 20 rm in total. Watermelon was free ~~~
Here. Google it. Its worth visit. 🙂
And idk y we spent so much money on the stuff toy ufo catcher lol.