Shisha

Well hi. It’s been. While hasn’t it

Here’s something for bored, stressed, depressed Singaporeans to go to in JB

– tucked a few street away. From is. At pelangi mall,

Google for bagus hotel.

Along bagus hotel

There’s a shop called chimney

It sells shisa

The water pipe tobacco thingy

20rm only for happy hour.

And like 35? For regular timing..

Pretty chill. One of the lady boss is Singaporean.

Courage much..

First time blasting my lungs out with so much tobacco.

Some death are sweeter than others

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Worth a backside photo

Remind me never to go mountain trekking with volleyball players ever again.

While we were jostling in the public bus, trying to get to jiufen, we saw the mountain (keelung mountain) right beside jiufen old street.

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Me: we shall climb this.

Travel buddy (have volleyball competition tomorrow) was a no nonsense dude: no

Ptff spoil sport

1 hour into trodding around jiufen in the 32 deg celcius summer…

Travel buddy: lets climb the mountain.

Wtf? This guy has no heat receptor in his bones and suffers from 1 hour brain lag?

Me: no

And so we found ourselves at the foot of keelung mountain.

COS I AIN’T NO SPOIL SPORT LIKE SOMEBODY

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Half way up the ascent. There was a split road. Short path or long way?

Dude pointed to the long muddy road and started out. Oh screw me. Look im in a dress!

Like i said. Volleyball players are crazy. And they are also too tall. Charging up the mountain 3 steps at a time while midget me trudge along.

Was it worth it? Hell yea. Gluping down the warm jelly i saved all the way up the mountain.

Just come in autumn maybe.and bime bring a beer.

So baring backside is trending ain’t it.

Ahhhhhh can’t do ittttt!

Heres a bra pic instead… Lol

And yea. I missed the moment jiufen lighted up (yes it does feel like spirited away)

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Definately worth a backside photo – shall be in my bucket list for now!

traditional tw breakfast food

so… the traditional taiwan breakfast is so good, it actually deserve a post itself. (in my opinion)

it typically opens in the morn and closes by 11pm.

there was a day i missed breakfast. cos as u all know me. i overslept.

you can imagine my sulky face the rest of the afternoon.

It may surprise you, that the traditional breakfast food burger – 汉堡

and it is ridiculously tTO DIE FOR!

The thing is, burger is kinda just a small selection of the breakfast menu, but burgers being burgers, the name stuck

here’s traditional taiwan breakfast

the menu separates the type of food served. Then you get to choose the toppings

under hotplates, you have:

GYOZAS! (its like 2 sgd only!) with their special smoky dripping sauce

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERAthink they call this dumpling instead of gyoza. whats the difference? idk. price is the same 2 bucks and the same smoky goodness. sinful breakfast!OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERAfried carrot cake

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then theres the awesome pancakes which are my fav (its always with eggs and flour base and you can choose toppings like cheese, bacon, pork cutlet ham.) with the fragrance of spring onion omgggg OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERAOLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERAOLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERAOLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

then theres croissant. 可宋 i didn’t know thats what they call it in chinese. i always thought it was .

so they have croissant, and they have this weird hybrid of bread on the lower half and a sheet of croissant skin on top. Its buttery and soft and not flakey like crossiont. I think i am in love

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERAjust look at that. pork chop hugged in that beautiful moist pastry skin! and they traditional sesame paste version omgggg. swoon.OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERAtheres also burgers. sandwiches…. and i don’t know. a bunch more.

but go to taiwan, try the breakfast.

its just. ridiculously good.

oh did i mention, the are usually only about 30 to 55 new dollars (about 1 buck to 2 bucks sgd)

i ate mine (everyday) at ximending area (its very famous. ask around)

What to buy in batam

I know u guys heard about all that massage and seafood. Heres a few other things u can/should buy in batam! 

1) magnum ice cream

Come on. Why is magnum so ex in sg? Is ice cream taxed too? Cos magnum cost $1.30 sgd here. So i ate all the flavors… 8 in total.. Check out red velvet! #loves

2) vitamin pills

I know they look like condom packs. But these r legit cheap vitamin pills. (1500 rp? Thats like 10 cents sgd or sth). And since vitamin pills are expensive in sg n rupee r shit currency to keep, i spent the whole load of left over bucks n shilling on vitamin n yet another magnum ice cream.

3) viagra pills

 The magic name u are looking for, is cialis. Read here for story on buying cialis.

Because its legal drug in sg but u can’t get them unless u get the man to pull off his pants n tell the doc how impotent he is. In batam, u can get it over the cou ter. The price. Is 20sgd each pill. 💊

4) some coffee

For some reason some coffee are real cheap. I got these for 9300rupee. Thats about a buck sgd.  And its damn awesomes.

5) cheese

Don’t say no to cheese.  A butter size block of cheese cost me. A dollar. Mom was mad i only bought one. She thinks i travel to buy grocery. Guess i can’t deny my tendency to over shop on grocery… Came home with 7kg of cheese from europe.. But anyway. Get the cheese. Its cheap.

… 

And of course alcohol. Cos its duty free.

And of cos ciggs. 

But those. You all know ~

Cya

Chasing the dragon

My colleague was excited that i was going to batam. Pull me to a corner and said conspiringly.

“U know, in batam you can buy those .. For man… Viagra! Over the counter…. U don’t need to see doctor… And its the real legal drug in singapore”

“I heard my friend ate it and it put his 16 year old self to shame.”

“I want to try leh! Help me get. I want to feel like dragon!”

Thats how i found myself at the apoteik counter.

“I want pill. U know pill. For man! Man! ”

I point to a man beside me and then flexed my non existance arm to express the meaning of poweress.

“Pill. U know… Viagra….. ” desperately trying to convey.

“Tonkat ali! I want tonkat ali!!! Come on u have it right? Right?” i raised my voice a lil in desperation / exasperation.

The tudong clad female pharmacist gushed, looking distressed. Her unibrows squashed together like a long centipede, shook her head violently as if a beetle found its way onto her scarf. (nth racist here. I think she was just too shy)

I was adamant. God damnit i know she has it. So i took a long walk and came back a few hours later.

From afar, before i entered the shop, the same girl caught sight of me, bolted out of her seat at the counter and disappeared into the pharmacy closet room and dragged her colleague out, inconspiously pointing at me. THEN THEY BOTH LAUGHED!

Dear god. I had to give up on this humiliating shop…

So i hopped over to a large pharmacy hoping there will be more people to assist and kinda well… diffuse the attention.

Upon entry, 4 handsome young pharmacist greeted with smiles…… Thanks.

Inconspiously slipped a piece of paper with the drug name over the counter.

“Cialis…” he mummured and then turned to handsome #2 and said “cailis…” handsome 2 turned around to the other 2 hamdsome pharmacists hanging around behind him “cialis!” and they all took glances at me and mummured “cialis” with that all knowing look…  i felt violated. Damn i still go to the female washroom u know..

Totaly publically humiliated.

Anyway. I got the pills. And a lot of mentos. And some gums. Side note: though their ability of recognizing drugs was decent, their cashier skill n speed sure needs brushing up. So i got another magnum ice cream while waiting awkwardly too.

If my colleague gets his wife pregnant, he better award me a huge ang pao. #ideserveit

Viagra pill

r

6 cents to selling my backside


we stood at the dripping ice stand haggling a price for dinner. They slap pieces of sting ray in the ice tray, bone and blood and dripping melted ice. Upselling skills better than an insurance agent. (i wish i’d taken a pic of the haggling. You’ve never been to south east asia if u never haggled. We can do it till the cows come home.)

It was the last night of the trip. We were down to less than 15 sgd in our wallets and still a dinner to settle.

Of course the last dinner must be awesome. After the travel buddy’s adamant “we should eat batam local food” for 3 days which includes 3 days of diarrhea on my part, he finally gave up on team local and dragged me to the seafood stand.

65! A wet weathered hand reached out to wave/grab at us. 65!

I flinched and stared at the travel buddy. Yea im a chicken at sayin no sometimes but he is worse. The wet hand snaked up a notch. 55 ok abang? 55!

We pulled out a calculator afraid they will charge 550 instead of 55. The lady boss charged up and pushed poor wet weathered hand aside and. Typed 45000 in the calculator.

Disbelief.

About $4.50 for a slab of stingray. Hell yeah…  the travel buddy went crazy. “Oh. Plus a kang kong. How about an egg too. Egg u know egg. Teluar…”. (the fish had caught the bait)…..

Had to drag him away from the menu and told him.. U know. I think we don’t have enought money for dinner. He turned pale… “Its ok i can slap some sgd in their face” i raised an eyebrow.

At least judgement time is after we dined we had our fill before death.  we walked to the payment counter. The chinese taokay fingers fly across the calculator typing furiously referring to a piece of reciept. And a second piece of reciept. Omg the suspence is killing me.. 131.

Fuck. short of 1000.

Tua pei kong ah… I don’t regret few the few thousand dollars donations i did at your temple yhis afternoon. So.. plssss help me!!!

The taokway sat waiting twiddling his pen…

I reached into my packet… 100, 500, 1000! Waaaaa thank you tua pei kong ah no need to wash dishes or sell backside.

So yes. 6 cent to selling my backside at batam

Crunchy worms

Hi guys!

Sorry for the long haitus!

Wells, life got in the way.

Jus thought i’d come up to say hi n brag about the latest gusty “food” i’ve eaten

Slurp slurp

Maggotsssss 🐛🐛🐛🐛🐛

Honestly.. Its bland n crunchy. Kinda like eating chips. Except the membrane/skin is kinda hard to chew.

The body builder colleague went crazy over it thought..

“Its packed with protein you know…”

I stared in disbelief as he pushed away his lunch and grabbed a handfull for snack.

I always thought body builders have loose screws in the head

Weasel the taxi uncle

How desperate r u to write a post in your blog (yea writers block lately) asked my favourite boy shaggy.

Uhm. I feel fine… Said i.

So we went to jb that random weekend just because he wanted to eat herbal chicken.

And sure enough we just have to have a blog post.( i can’t just blog about food can i)

Damn weasel of the blue cab taxi driver scammed me freaking moneyyyyyy!

Thats basically what i shouted when i walked into the badminton racquet shop where i ordered my new weapon.

Oh yea if i had my new weapon i would have unapologeticallly inflicted upon him a gushing twark on the weasel mousy brainless pothead.

Can u believe it. I paid 8 sgd to get from ksl to sri taman tembrau. (the food place nearby; approx 10 min walk away)

Oh weasel thought i didnt know the way. wanted to take a long route. We instructed him to turn in the right direction. N he say. Flooding.

Then he turned an elaborated long route looping 2x, all the while humming to some hindi song and acting like a complete dong,  before i got so pissed and threw 25 rm in his weasel face. Cursed his car die in the flood n stormed out into the rain

God damn it.

Arriving at the shop drenched, shaggy trailing behind me, the nice racquet shop aunties raged with me for 10 minutes. “These scums throw our malaysia people face! Hope his tyres burst”. “What 25rm is too much. Y didnt u take down his face n license should complain him. These cheaters should not drive.”

And the rage continued as i rage another taxi driver on how i was cheated n he went into his story about how he wouldnt cheat his passengers n got big tips from being honest. (ah i promised to reccommend him but well. I lost his name card.)

Felt much better after raging because shaggy bought me a magnum ice cream #easilysatisfied.

Anyways Tourist tip: dont take a blue taxi. Them all weasels. Grrrrs

Oh yah. Herbal chicken was good.

In shaggy’s words. Its jizz worthy lol.

I think its only 20 rm in total. Watermelon was free ~~~

Here. Google it. Its worth  visit. 🙂


And idk y we spent so much money on the stuff toy ufo catcher lol.